Sometimes they fall down

I just changed my font cause I was growing weary of the spots and dots or whatever you call them, hee hee! I needed a change and I thought my one reader (yes I said reader, as in one, ha!) would like a change too. ;-) That's not the only changes I've made lately...

A couple of weeks ago at Recovery at the Village when it was my turn to talk I blurted out, "I think I have a problem, I'm addicted to the computer." God has a funny way of getting things out of us, or having us confess. I didn't even intend to say that when I went that night. I lead one of the small groups so at the time (of my denial) I felt I had to be "on top of things" in my life. So when it came out of my mouth I knew I could not turn back then, I had to face my issue head on and deal with it. You see I've not only been addicted to the computer but mainly I've been addicted to Facebook. You may snicker because you yourself get on and play around and chat, etc but I really felt convicted when it was on my mind 24/7. What do they call that? Oh yeah...an idol. Because God was not filling my thoughts 24/7 I was filling my head with facebook, facebook, facebook. Now I love to keep up with new friends, old friends, family and the like but I was out of control! It literally felt like an addiction to a drug, very weird cause I didn't feel good until I got on and then once I got on it wasn't satisfying me. I'm not sure where the turning point was for me but whatever the case it happened and I was in deep denial. So I took an entire day last week to fast from the computer, no e-mail, no facebook, no nothing. After that first day I felt like God was calling me to fast from facebook for the entire week. I wasn't happy about that (oh no!) but I knew that I had to run directly away from it and run to Christ. He is my only hope, my only source of strength, the peace I so badly need and the joy in my life.

Day 2 was not easy cause I felt like a 2 year old screaming for her missing blanky! I was grumpy, whiny and complaining (sound familiar?) God brought me to Obadiah and have you ever actually read Obadiah? It's very short, only one chapter but in there God speaks of punishing, commands that were broken, and nations to be judged. I only read it once, yeah when you're feeling separated from God it will only take one reading! But after day 2 and 3 I started to see the light, I also started to see myself doing things that normal housewives should be doing like cleaning house, cooking, etc. I was deeply ashamed! And to top all of this off my "fasting" from facebook for the week landed at the very same time my son got the flu so I was stuck at home, couldn't go anywhere with a sick child to tend to and who slept often so I had lots of free time. It was torture I tell you, torture! Sorry I got off on a bunny trail...anyway so after day 3 or 4 and I started to feel freedom God brought me to Matthew 11:28, "Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light." That was like a major breath of fresh air, hope and rest. So since then I've been resting in Him, taking all of my burdens to him, checking my idolatry at his feet and not looking back. He is so good to forgive, His mercy is never ending and for this hard headed woman I need it! Thanks for listening...

A New Year, A New President - what will God do next

Since the inauguration I have been numb to politics. It is an amazing thing that we now have a black president (can I say that?). I am in awe over that whole issue and how far this country has come. But I am very opposed to what he stands for and already he has made changes that have caused me to cry:

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/first100days/2009/01/23/obama-lift-ban-overseas-abortion-funding/

I am avoiding the news because I feared exactly what he has already done and will continue to do. I am simply praying for mercy for him and our country, for our children and generations to come. It all just breaks my heart and yet I see on facebook and other blogs how so many people are "thankful" and "happy" about our new president. I wanted to share an article by John Piper regarding this same issue. What he wrote is exactly my sentiments. Here you go, it's not a long read and if the link does not work the article is at www.desiringgod.org entitled, "The President, the Passengers and the Patience of God":

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2009/3520_The_President_the_Passengers_and_the_Patience_of_God/

(you will need to copy and paste the links)

Once again a no brainer...sort of:

FOR TODAY January 8, 2009...

Outside my window...The racket of the roofers next door is echoing through the neighborhood. Although our insurance and roofer guy said we don't need a roof, hmmmmmmm....

I am thinking...yoga might be the reason why my back wakes up sore every single day despite the brand new mattress in our bed. I hate to give it up because it feels so good to stretch and bend but my journey with yoga may soon come to an end. More on this later...

I am thankful for...my daughter, she woke up looking much better than when she went to bed last night.

From the kitchen...is a sparkling clean sink yet no thoughts on what is for dinner, I have thoughts but I can't seem to find the thing I'm looking for at any of the stores nearby. Now I don't know what I will do because I used to count on those organic (healthy) boxed meals to get me through the week.

I am wearing...a robe and pj's.

I am creating...a painting, still working on the same one I started last summer...some day soon though!

I am going...to try a step class today, hopefully I won't get killed falling off of the step because I haven't been in so long. On second thought, maybe I'll just hit the treadmill or go for a walk on this beautiful sunny day.

I am reading...I'm in the middle of books, actually a confession...I'm reading "The Confessions of a Shopaholic". That's funny, a confession about a confession! I like those kinds of novels because it's the heavy ones that I need a break from every now and then. I'm also still reading the book on fear, almost done and I do feel like God has grown me in that area, rather He has given me freedom from it. (He is so good!)

I am hoping...that going to my high school reunion next year won't be a big waste of time.

I am hearing...the clock tick, a dog bark and hammers on tiles nearby.

Around the house...my Christmas decorations are still looking back at me and I really need to finish up putting them up.

One of my favorite things...a quiet house on mornings like this, no immediate agenda's, no last minute errands, just me, God and this big and quiet house...aaaaahh.

A few plans for the rest of the week: To find a hormonal specialist and make an appointment, to take Colin to his ortho appt., to continue to help Brian with his last run in with poison ivy and I've got to call my sister, I am so bad about that now and for no good reason. To go to a very good friend of mines birthday party on Saturday, Happy Birthday Jennifer!!!

Simply Today

I love these kinds of blogs so I'm participating today because I love prompts:

Outside my window...birds are chirping (at least 3 different kinds).

I am thinking...I need to get off of the internet.

I am thankful for...my friends and silk long underwear that keeps me warm in the winter.

I am wearing...my pjs and a jacket.

I am creating...a couple of paintings, I need help with a color for one that is almost finished. I think the color is peach (from the original) but my art teacher insists it's tan.

I am going...to take Colin to CC's Pizza today, he gets out of school early.

I am reading...Running Scared by Edward T. Welch.

I am hoping...for my hubby to make a decision about gifts for the Adair family soon.

I am hearing...silence (the birds have already quieted down).

Around the house...dust bunnies are gathering.

One of my favorite things...an unexpected hug from my 11 year old and humility from my 16 year old and all of the laughs provided by my husband.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Yoga, helping to feed the homeless on Thursday, hang out with my kids cause they're out of school and mailing another package.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Leave me a note and tell me about one thing you are thankful for or one of your favorite things.

Gmail confusion

OK, got a new e-mail account and for some reason I can't register the new e-mail with this blog account. It's from the same source, google. What's up google? Does anyone know why or have answers to this puzzling question? I don't want to get a separate e-mail account simply for this blog but then again I don't want to lose this blog. I know there are far more difficult things in life but this one is bothering me at the moment. :-/

Fear...less

I have finally opened my eyes to what has been keeping me paralyzed for the past three weeks, FEAR. I am a big chicken, nothing more, nothing less. Well actually yes there is more, I am not trusting in my great God and King with my fears. I am reading a book right now called "Running Scared" by Edward T. Welch. In the second chapter he asks you what your fears are and I started thinking about them (yes there are many) and I was able to see that I have been denying this emotion (or whatever you call it) all along. So I have many fears; mainly fear of the economy, fear of the new president elect and what he will do, fear of confronting other people, etc. Then just a little bit ago I was intercepting a billion calls from insurance agents...so my fear kicked in again. I started to crave sweets because I was denying my fear, so I asked God to help me with these thoughts barraging me. I knew sweets wasn't the answer.

A week ago before realizing I was dealing with fear I got a letter in the mail from John Piper, not a personal letter but the kind of letter where they talk about a certain topic, then they ask for a donation (or not) to be able to receive that CD in the mail. Well the topic was fear, so I went straight ahead to www.desiringgod.com and listened to John's teaching on fear. I wrote down some of the main points and for the past few days I've been trying to memorize Isaiah 41:10 which says, "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I like the part where John says, I am your God - over you. I am with you - by your side. I will strengthen you - from inside you. I will help you - all around you from wherever the enemy comes. I will uphold you - from underneath you.

I am so thankful for friends, a good friend of mine has been praying for me for the past three weeks. She knows my patterns and she felt God prompting her to pray for me. We talked about this today. I can't do this walk alone, no one can. I'm still learning, still growing, still learning to trust in God in all things.

Pain and Suffering

I went to John Piper's conference this weekend and the topic was "Job" (of the Bible). Boy does that man ever know how to dissect Scripture! And surprising to me was that he is very animated and funny! He delights in the things God made and it's fun to hear him talk about those things.

The main point that John made for this teaching was why does God allow suffering when he is a good and loving God? I think what I took away from this seminar was that above all things God is Sovereign. And it is wrong to question God, but we do it anyway! Job was a righteous man, meaning he loved the Lord with all his heart and sought after Him in all things. But God allowed Satan to kill his livestock, his family, to afflict Job with horrible sores for days. (God didn't but allowed Satan to.) Job wasn't perfect and he did question God. Another thing I got out of it is that God will use suffering to bring people together. When you are suffering you call your friends and family more, you reach out and connect more because you feel vulnerable and needy. And mainly when you are suffering you reach out to God more, it draws you closer to Him, you are tested (like Job was) at times to see if you truly mean what you say about your love for Jesus. This is a tip of the iceberg so I encourage you to go to the Desiring God website to listen to Piper's message on Job. www.desiringgod.org