Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Sometimes they fall down

I just changed my font cause I was growing weary of the spots and dots or whatever you call them, hee hee! I needed a change and I thought my one reader (yes I said reader, as in one, ha!) would like a change too. ;-) That's not the only changes I've made lately...

A couple of weeks ago at Recovery at the Village when it was my turn to talk I blurted out, "I think I have a problem, I'm addicted to the computer." God has a funny way of getting things out of us, or having us confess. I didn't even intend to say that when I went that night. I lead one of the small groups so at the time (of my denial) I felt I had to be "on top of things" in my life. So when it came out of my mouth I knew I could not turn back then, I had to face my issue head on and deal with it. You see I've not only been addicted to the computer but mainly I've been addicted to Facebook. You may snicker because you yourself get on and play around and chat, etc but I really felt convicted when it was on my mind 24/7. What do they call that? Oh yeah...an idol. Because God was not filling my thoughts 24/7 I was filling my head with facebook, facebook, facebook. Now I love to keep up with new friends, old friends, family and the like but I was out of control! It literally felt like an addiction to a drug, very weird cause I didn't feel good until I got on and then once I got on it wasn't satisfying me. I'm not sure where the turning point was for me but whatever the case it happened and I was in deep denial. So I took an entire day last week to fast from the computer, no e-mail, no facebook, no nothing. After that first day I felt like God was calling me to fast from facebook for the entire week. I wasn't happy about that (oh no!) but I knew that I had to run directly away from it and run to Christ. He is my only hope, my only source of strength, the peace I so badly need and the joy in my life.

Day 2 was not easy cause I felt like a 2 year old screaming for her missing blanky! I was grumpy, whiny and complaining (sound familiar?) God brought me to Obadiah and have you ever actually read Obadiah? It's very short, only one chapter but in there God speaks of punishing, commands that were broken, and nations to be judged. I only read it once, yeah when you're feeling separated from God it will only take one reading! But after day 2 and 3 I started to see the light, I also started to see myself doing things that normal housewives should be doing like cleaning house, cooking, etc. I was deeply ashamed! And to top all of this off my "fasting" from facebook for the week landed at the very same time my son got the flu so I was stuck at home, couldn't go anywhere with a sick child to tend to and who slept often so I had lots of free time. It was torture I tell you, torture! Sorry I got off on a bunny trail...anyway so after day 3 or 4 and I started to feel freedom God brought me to Matthew 11:28, "Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light." That was like a major breath of fresh air, hope and rest. So since then I've been resting in Him, taking all of my burdens to him, checking my idolatry at his feet and not looking back. He is so good to forgive, His mercy is never ending and for this hard headed woman I need it! Thanks for listening...

1 comment:

Patricia said...

Hi Rachel! I'm so happy that you rose out of lurkdom to leave a sweet comment on Pollywog Creek, and I'm thrilled that you enjoy my photos of God's handiwork. It is all Him - truly!

What a wonderful post. Every now and then my daughter will challenge me to a computer/TV fast and it is humbling to come face to face with our "idols". I have no problem giving up the TV - I don't like it anyway - but access to my computer? Hmmmmmmmmmm. Most of my work on the computer is in working on manuscripts or photography - but still.